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the EMOTION article;
scroll down in the left hand column to find it!
7 Negative Emotions to Avoid
by Hooman Hamzehloui
If you really want live the life of your dreams, I suggest
you avoid the following feelings. It is impossible to feel bad when your thoughts are good.
1. Fear - Fear is at the top of the list because it will do so much damage to you and your life. Don’t let anything scare you.
Use fear as an inspirational tool. Navy Seals are put in the worst situations possible while training because constant exposure
to fear makes them mentally strong. Their preparation makes them accomplish impossible missions while they make it look easy.
They strengthen their minds to believe that they can achieve any mission they are given. They don’t fear anything. President
Kennedy said it the best. “The only thing that we have to fear, is fear itself. When you face your fears and consistently
overcome them, the feeling is unbelievable. Use your fears as motivation to overcome. It is an unbelievable source of power.
Look at fear as a power that is inside of you that is used to give you the power to face your fears. Use this fear as a strength
or you will lose it.
2. Jealousy - Jealousy will really disturb you. Don’t be jealous of what someone else has. Don’t be jealous in your relationships.
If someone is jealous in their relationships, it will only be a matter of time before they start making up stories about what
their partner might be doing. This will take out such a toll on someone’s emotions because once the imagination starts
running, it is only downhill from there. Never be jealous.
3. Hatred - Hatred can possibly end life as we know it. What more could I say? Hate leads to people getting killed. Don’t even
hate someone that hurt you. Anyone that hurts someone is only doing that because they are really hurting inside. Don’t
hate anyone, just don’t think about them. It is okay to dislike something, but it is wrong to hate.
4. Revenge - Revenge can go on for ever. Don’t get in the habit of being someone who is always seeking revenge. Don’t get
revenge from your family, don’t get revenge from your partner. Don’t practice revenge, practice constant and never
5. Greed - Greed is why our economy is in such a rough shape.
Greed has gotten the best of me on several occasions. I learned a tough lesson every time. Don’t be greedy, or else
you will get the best of you. “Know when to hold them, and know when to fold them” as Kenny Rogers would say.
Superstition - Don’t be superstitious. People who believe in superstition will often
create their own misfortunes. Don’t believe in luck. You are the creator of your own luck. Luck is preparation and opportunity
getting together, it is up to you from there. You are the creator of your future. If you want to believe in superstition believe
in karma. Don’t let a horoscope create a limitation. It is up to you to make your days great.
7. Anger - Anger is something that hurts so many people. Anger management is a must. If you are getting angry, you are only stressing
your own body. Anger can hurt you so bad. Anger can hurt your love ones as well. Please control your anger.
avoid these awful emotions, you will have an awesome life. Practice avoiding all of these emotions. Bad thoughts = bad feelings.
Good thoughts = good feelings. It is up to us to make our lives special. How special do you want your life to be.? Make it
Hooman Hamzehloui 2009
www.HoomanCan.comFollow me on Twitter at www.twitter.com/HoomanCan
I Can Read Your Emotions Just Like a Book
By Farouk Radwan
I can read your emotions,
just like a book
Strange title right?
Well it's not
a title; it’s what you'd proudly say after learning how to read body language. Do you know that each emotional state
that we experience has an associated gesture that accompanies it?
Whether this state was confidence, anxiety, fear, boredom, interest or even lying, it'll be reflected into your body language and then read by anyone who understands body
language in depth.
isn't just eye contact and posture as many people claim. Actually, body language involves any gesture that you make. This
gesture could be anything from moving your hand or leg, to touching your nose or face. All the gestures that you make have
a meaning in body language and scientists have already identified a large number of emotions that
can be detected just by watching a person’s body language.
“But why learn body language?” You may ask.
- Body language can improve your relationships because it'll
take your communication skills to a new level.
- You'll be able to tell whether someone really likes you or
just pretends to.
- You'll leave a positive impression in meetings and job interviews.
You'll be able to show the
emotional state that you want; i.e., you may be terrified while doing a presentation, but still give the impression that you're
confident by adjusting your body language.
Contrary to common belief, body language
is 100% accurate - given that you understand its common pitfalls. Body language is approved world wide and is practiced by
politicians, sales people, secret agents and even presidents.
Have you ever looked carefully
at someone standing alone in the street? Did you notice his posture?
they'll be crossing his arms and his legs, which is called “the defensive position” in body language.
The person usually takes this position in any of the following cases:
- He's feeling uncomfortable due to being present between lots
- He's shy by nature; in that case this will be his favourite
- When he is offended (something
happens that he doesn't approve).
The defensive position can
make you fail in a job interview before you even start talking! This may happen due to the awful impression that's left to
the interviewer when he notices the defensive position.
Try to avoid taking this position as much as you can. After all,
even if you feel shy or uncomfortable, your emotions are private and no one should be allowed
to know them without your consent.
Life Changing Tips For Boomers: Rewire Your Brain To Control Your Emotions and Make Positive Life Choices
By Karen Sherman
Do You Seem to Get Caught Up in the Same Old Reactions?
Have you ever
blown up at your spouse only to realize - after the smoke cleared - that you might have over-reacted just a tad? Maybe you
learn that you haven’t been invited to your uncle’s friend’s sister’s birthday party and you behave
as if it’s the slight of the century.
Sometimes even the most minor snafu
can send us storming out of the room, slamming down a phone, or just shutting down entirely. It’s like we just can’t
help it - the reaction is as automatic as a mallet to the knee.
Science Reveals It May Not
Be Your Fault
New research indicates that these habitual, knee-jerk responses
go way back to our childhood. As youngsters, we learned to adapt to our families’ idiosyncrasies as a way of survival.
Psychologists used to refer to these coping mechanisms as our baggage - but what science has now shown us is that these responses
are actually hard-wired into our brains. And because our responses are so ingrained, they've become our filtering system for
future incidents. In other words, if something happens today that the brain reads as being similar to something that happened
in the past, it'll respond as if it were the first time, even though you may be in your 30’s, 40’s, 50’s,
60’s and beyond.
Bringing This to Life
let’s say a child comes from a home where the parents fight frequently. That child is going to associate yelling with
bad feelings. In later years, if his spouse raises her voice, he’s likely to shut down like when he was a kid - metaphorically
running to his room, closing the door and essentially blocking out the noise.
Does this mean if you come from a family of yellers you’re doomed to hide under your bed every time someone
raises a voice? Luckily, recent research indicates that the brain continues to grow throughout our lives - and old patterns
can be released as new ones are formed in your boomer years..
Help Is On the Way
The way to managing your anger and knee jerk reactions is to establish new connections by refocusing your attention to a different outcome or possibility.
But, before you can foster these new connections in your brain, you have to be aware of the old brain triggers.
When I try and distinguish whether someone’s reaction is a past association, I look to see
if their reaction to the situation is automatic and intense. Additionally, when I try and offer an alternative to why they’re
behaving that way, the person is resistant and reluctant to consider any other view or interpretation of the situation - other than their own.
In my practice, I work extensively
with clients to help them rewire and rewrite their lives. Here's an easy exercise to get you started on rewiring your brain
to control your anger and over-reactions that'll bring about positive changes in your life-today!
Thinking of Alternatives
a. When you’re
projecting your past experience onto a present one, try and imagine alternative ways to handle the situation; i.e., let’s
say you have lunch plans with a friend - who cancels at the last minute. Immediately, you feel an overwhelming sense of hurt
and rejection. Which is how you always feel in similar situations - indicating - voila - a past pattern! Be conscious of this
and take a step back to recognize it.
b. Then, approach the situation from an entirely
different perspective. Maybe you use humor to deflect the bad feelings, thinking to yourself, “Gee, I guess it’s
my deodorant.” Or, you choose the direct approach and ask your friend if you’ve done something to upset her. Or,
you take the practical route and figure your friend just overbooked, overextended, or over-promised - and give her a get-out-of-jail-free
card. (Hint: If you have difficulty coming up with alternative ways to handle the situation,
think about how someone else - your mother, a childhood friend, an admired acquaintance - might handle the same situation.)
2. Plugging in New Choices:
a. Now, replay the actual situation as vividly as possible - the phone ringing, the sound of your
friend’s voice, the awkward goodbyes - and imagine yourself carrying out one of your new solutions. Maybe you decide
that being understanding of your friend’s busy schedule is the best choice.
Replay the phone call and plug in your new behavior, the understanding you, rather than playing out your old behavior of feeling
rejected and hurt.
Making it Last
long, you'll begin to see a slight shift in how you feel. By doing this exercise again and again, you'll refocus your attention
on a new outcome. This will rewire your brain and make a new neural connection - a connection to positive change!
The Phases Of Manifestation Part 2. Thought and Emotion
By Dwayne Gilbert
The 3 secrets of manifestation into the world around us are thought, word and deed. It's very important to learn
to align these 3 areas if you're to realize the life of your dreams. The ability to make these 3 areas move you in the direction
you want to go in order for you to be able to live the life of your dreams is essential. If any one of these 3 areas is out
of sync with the other 2, you'll have difficulty in realizing the manifestation of your dreams into the world around you.
The first of these 3 secrets is the secret of thoughts and emotions.
Our thoughts and emotions go hand in hand. Deep rooted beliefs and thoughts
about things create an emotional response to situations and experiences that we find ourselves in on a daily basis. This emotional
reaction causes us to think certain thoughts based upon prior programming from other situations and similar experiences. It
can be a very vicious cycle; i.e., let's say that when we were 4 years old, we were attacked by our grandmother's cat. Our
grandmother's cat would hide behind doorways and wait for us to walk by just so it could ambush us. This caused us to fear cats in general. Now, as adults, no matter how friendly a cat is, we have a negative emotional response to it based upon
that emotion of fear we learned when we were 4 years old and attacked by our grandmother's cat. Because of that fear, we created the perception
that all cats are bad and just waiting to attack us. Is this actually the case? Are all cats vicious and nasty and just wanting
to harm us? Of course not, however, our emotional response has created all kinds of negative emotions
toward cats and thoughts about what cats are. So what does all of this have to do with thoughts and emotions
and getting what you want? Everything.
Growing up we had certain beliefs, ideas and concepts instilled in us about things by our friends, family and
loved ones. Let's use money i.e. Many people who don't have money grew up in a family who didn't have money.
Often times, they were taught that people who do have money usually walked all over people to get there. They
lied, cheated and stole when they could to get to where they are. Surely there are some who did, but does that mean everyone
who became financially wealthy did that? No, of course not! Just like every cat isn't a horrible monster out to get us. But
those beliefs and ideas created a certain emotional response and trigger to people who have money. Often times a very negative
one. So what did that do to us? It created the thought, because of the fact that we feel negative feelings toward people with
money, that if we have money we too would be a bad person. Of course no one wants to be a bad person, so without even knowing
it, we relate the fact that we want money to being a bad person and logically create reasons why we shouldn't be wealthy financially.
So the first step in the creation process is to begin to realize what our current
beliefs and thoughts and emotions toward things are. If you want to create wealth in relationships,
you must evaluate what your concept of a relationship is. Some people have very healthy marriages by being open sexually and
allowing one another to sleep with other people.
Other people have very healthy
marriages being completely committed to one another and never sleeping with anyone else. One or the other isn't right
or wrong unless you believe it to be so, but you must decide what you believe a relationship to be about and what creates
a healthy relationship. You must also decide what you believe is a good partner and what traits a good partner should have.
You must also take note of how you feel about certain traits in a relationship or marriage and in a significant other. These
emotions and thoughts create your perception of what a relationship is and what kind of
a relationship you'll attract to you.
Take the time to truly look at your thoughts
about certain things and be honest with yourself. There's no right or wrong answer but the one you choose to be correct for
you. Here's an example. Is killing right or wrong? 99% of the population will say that killing is absolutely wrong. Here's
the devil's advocate. What if someone were trying to kill you or your child or a loved one and the only way to stop them was
to kill that person? Is killing right or wrong then. Well, we can split hairs over this but it comes down to this. Nothing
is ever right or wrong except in a specific context. You must decide what your context for things is and then create your
life based upon that. So often so many people create their perception of the world based on others ideas and concepts. I know
many people who will not do what they truly love simply because others think it would be a foolish idea. A friend of mine
was a doctor at one point in his life. His true passion was to move to the mid-west and take people on white water rapid tours.
So many people around him said he'd be foolish for giving up his great paying job as a doctor, which cost him a good 80 hours
a week of his life by the way and go take people on white water rapid tours. Eventually he did make the move and is much happier than ever before, even with less money. So take the time to evaluate you and what your ideas are and what ideas would better
Overcoming Negative Emotions
One of the many lessons I've
learned in my life and continue to learn, is that my thoughts create my emotions and my
emotions create my behaviors and then it circles back around.
Once this cycle begins it
seems almost impossible to stop. If my thoughts are positive in nature, the results can help me live my best life. However,
if they're negative thoughts, what follows are negative feelings, followed by negative behaviors. Through this pattern I've
come to realize that I must look at my negativity as an opportunity to grow and develop. I've developed a series of steps
that help me acknowledge when this pattern of negativity is beginning, as well as how to disrupt the pattern and ultimately
stop it from continuing any further.
The first step is to create more awareness
as to what thoughts I'm actually thinking when I'm thinking them. I use a technique called quieting the mind. To quiet the
mind I meditate in order to cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness basically means awareness and I've found that the more I practice
meditation, the more mindful or aware I become of the constant barrage of negative thoughts that flow through my mind. This
awareness has allowed me to realize that not all of my thoughts are rational, or are they necessarily based in reality. Therefore,
because of my awareness, a red flag appears each time I think something negative about myself, my situation, or even an idea
that I might have. When this flag goes up I'm instantly able to reassess the thought and see where it might have originated
and if it still holds any truth for me.
Many times the thought is
something I learned as a child, or was told as a child by significant others in my life, but it isn't what I believe as an
adult. Then with this knowledge I'm able to challenge it and eventually erase it.
The 2nd technique is called listening to the heart. Listening to the
heart involves paying attention to the actual feelings I'm feeling in any given situation. I've learned that my feelings provide
very valuable information as to what my values are, what my true beliefs are, what situations or people drain my energy and
what boundaries I need to create and enforce in order to protect myself.
Many times my negative thoughts
instantly create a negative feeling of being frustrated, irritated, angry, jealous and afraid. Since these thoughts and feelings happen almost simultaneously, I've learned that not only do I need
to pay more attention to the actual thought that triggers the negative emotions, I also
need to pay more attention to the emotion itself. The first thing I do is identify what
feeling I'm experiencing. I then allow myself the room to experience that feeling, which provides me with the opportunity
to work through the feeling and get past it. Through this process I'm also able to connect the feeling to a deeper meaning
for me, realizing that whatever I'm angry or frustrated about in that moment, isn't the real issue. The real issue is much deeper. This provides a much broader perspective
from which to view my feelings, which makes them less overwhelming.
The bottom line is that the more awareness I create
around what actually fuels my emotions & ultimately my behaviors, the more control I
have over how I respond to various situations & stressors. Learning that the more conscious I am, the better decisions
& choices I'll make, which will lead to a happier, more balanced & more meaningful life. Making these connections
is imperative in disrupting & stopping the negative patterns of thoughts, feelings & behaviors.
It might be useful for you in your own life to look at some your behaviors that you might view as negative.
They can be behaviors of trying to control or manipulate those around you, or over eating, over spending, working too much,
drinking too much, being judgmental towards others, or a combination of some or all of these. We all have behaviors that we
engage in that don't lift us up to be our best selves.
If we learn to analyze what feelings might be driving
those behaviors & then what thoughts are driving those feelings, it becomes possible to stop & interrupt this pattern.
We can then choose new patterns that are more positive & that'll help us create our best life from the inside out.
Those Emotions in Motion
Release Your Repressed Emotions
You can’t see them! You can’t touch them! But you sure can feel
them! Unless of course you have them buried under layers and layers of “protection” - whether those layers are physical as in layers of extra flesh, or emotional as in standoffish walls that proclaim
to the people around you, "don't get too close".
Many of us have
been holding back and storing unfelt emotions. What’s the purpose? Unfortunately,
the reason behind suppressed emotions is self-defeating. Holding back from “feeling your feelings” is usually how we try to protect ourselves from being hurt. However, the resistance to feeling your emotions when they arise is what really causes pain.
Unfelt and unexpressed emotions manifest in many ways. They may be felt only on a “discomfort level”,
as if something is wrong and you don’t know what it is. Sometimes it’s even hard to pinpoint what exactly is the
cause of your disease or discomfort. Maybe it’s a feeling of dissatisfaction with yourself, with your life, with others
around you. Sometimes it’s a feeling of anger or disappointment that doesn’t seem to have a cause. Yet, if you stop and question yourself as to the cause
of your confusion, the truth will come to the surface. There is always a cause for our feelings - it's just that many times we have hidden it from ourselves as well as from others.
So the first question is to ask yourself is “What am I feeling?” The typical
repressed answer is “I don’t know”. Just walk past that hurdle by asking another question: “What feelings am I not expressing?” If that still draws a blank, then ask yourself “If I knew what I was feeling, what would I say it is?” What is your answer? Ah! ha! Usually that will bring up some type of response... Is it sadness,
anger, fear? What answer do you get to the question? It may be more than one thing... you may have many layers of levels of feelings
associated with your present state of mind or moon.
you have uncovered the emotions that you’ve been keeping in storage or repressing,
look at them. You don’t need to analyze and criticize. Don't judge yourself, blame yourself, or tell yourself that you
"shouldn't" feel that way.
look at them, and tell them (the feelings) and tell yourself that it is o.k. to feel this way. Then, let yourself feel your anger, your sadness, your fear. Really feel it! Go ahead and cry, or beat your pillow... whatever you feel to do (just
don't hurt anyone).
The repressed emotions
need to come out so they stop poisoning you and your life. An example of how repressed stuff still affects you: Imagine that
you are allergic to something. So you push the "something" under the bed so you can't see it. Well, will that help any at
all? Of course not - you'll still be allergic, and even if you can't see the "something", your allergies will still be stimulated.
The same goes with repressed emotions. Just because you have stuffed them "under the bed",
doesn't mean they don't affect you. They do, and the solution to your problems can be identified even though you've hidden
or buried or repressed the cause.
The body, especially
once you have made the decision to heal yourself, will always seek to become healthy and whole. When energies are building
up inside of you, somewhat like a volcano’s powerful gases, your body will do everything in its power to get rid of
the poison. It is better for you, as well as for the people around you, when you clear and release your emotions without “dumping” on others. Those old feelings have nothing to do with people around you
anyway. They are your stuff. It is surely better for you to release your pent-up emotions
in this way than picking a scapegoat to bear the brunt of that energy, or repressing the emotions
inside and creating physical problems for yourself.
often that it is o.k. and safe to be a feeling human being. Many times in our upbringing, we were told not to show our anger, not to show our sadness or fears. So consequently, we “behaved” and poisoned ourselves by repressing those reactions to our daily life.
Take time to be with yourself, especially when you feel slightly
out of kilter, and talk to yourself (silently is fine). Ask yourself what
it is that you’re not expressing, what you are not feeling... and then go into those feelings. Feel them. Experience them. Feeling them will free you to go on your way unburdened by the chains of emotion that were binding
you to your past.
Don’t be afraid that you
are unlocking the door of the dam and that you will be bowled over with a flood of emotions.
It may feel like that at first, but as the pressure of unexpressed emotions releases, so will the pressure on your self be lessened, and you will feel lighter. You will not cry forever. The anger will not keep on exploding forever.
The pain will not go on forever. Once you release the pressure, you can fully take off the cover and let it flow out gracefully.
this article is continued from the "emotion page"
at the layer down under!
Many people regard the emotional
system as the main component of the automatic mode of the mind processes, and thus as having a lower status. They contrast
it with verbal thinking and the abstract processes of problem solving which are the main component of the willful awareness
mode, regarded as having the higher status.
Actually, the overlapping
between "hot" emotion and the automatic mode, or between "cold" cognition and the willful and awareness mode, is only partial.
As a matter of fact there are many "cold" cognition processes that we are unaware of (most
of them). Moreover, the will itself - aware and unaware - is one of the main emotional processes... and sometimes
is very "cold."
This system - and not the
higher abstract and verbal thinking processes of problem solving, which receive more credit than is due them - enables us
to navigate through the storms of life and survive them all... except for the last one!
Of the different phenomena
in our lives, we are most amazed by those that are the result of the swift changes between the two main modes of activation
of our life systems - the automatic mode and the voluntary mode. The way our respiration is regulated is a good example of
Usually our breathing is automatic
and out of the focus of awareness.
Most of the time we do not
pay it more than passing attention. Sometimes we pay attention to the sensations that result from the automatic functioning
of the respiratory processes. Only on special occasions and mostly for very short periods of time, do we exercise a limited
amount of will power over the different characteristics of the breathing process - stopping it, deepening it, regulating it,
The relations between the
emotional processes, and the automatic versus the non-automatic mode, are not static. In infancy and in early childhood, the
influence of the automatic innate mode is overwhelmingly dominant, and more so with regard to the emotional processes.
During growing and maturation,
new components join and integrate with the original ones (and with acquired ones that joined
the original ones before them). Part of these new components tend more to the automatic mode but a growing
part involves awareness and will. In young adults, the components involving will and awareness have already reached dominance
in daily behavior.
In the system of mature adults,
most of the subjective experience of emotion and nearly all its verbal and nonverbal expressions are subject to the supervision
of the "advanced" non-automatic processes and programs. Very often, especially with intensities that are not extremely high
or low, the influence of the "mature and advanced" components is decisive.
It is heredity itself that
decides, during each level of maturation and experience, which processes can be released from the absolute control of the
innate (and acquired) routines of the automatic mode of operation. Usually,
even will combined with focused awareness, cannot claim the right to access (and thereby
directly influence) basic maintenance processes.
The short indirect influence
we can have on the basic chemistry of the body (like that of the hormones),
and on basic maintenance functions (like breathing and digesting), are
"the exceptions that prove the rule". In most of these processes the direct influence of the average person is negligible.
In some of the processes that
"change their affinity and loyalty", heredity itself is responsible for their extraction from the automatic mode. This is
mainly "the fate" of the processes that are responsible for purposeful behavior, that manage the satisfaction of needs and
desires directly or closely pertinent to them. For instance, grownups usually refrain from crying as opposed to babies and
very young children. Instead, when circumstance allow it, they try to do something.
For many of the other ex-tractable
processes, the extracting itself and the measure of extraction from the automatic mode are due to many influences. The most
common influences are those resulting from education, learning, and socialization(11).
For instance, as a result
of learning, informal influences and socialization pressures - differently applied to male and female - the sexes do not react
in the same way when in intense pain or sorrow. In these circumstances, the overwhelming majority of adult males do not cry,
while for females, the opposite is true. Because of this difference in socialization, there is rarely an adult female who
will never cry, but within the male population there are many who will not, or cannot, even when willing.
Usually, following this in
the same trend, any serious discussion of emotion as a main subject arouses automatic opposition: "what can really be known
about emotion that is valuable" or "this is not the most important thing". However, the
subsystem of emotions is the most important component of the brain and mind of mammals (animals who suckle their young). Moreover, the higher a species of this family
is on the of evolutionary scale, the more central and essential is its emotional system.
In contradiction to the assumptions
of most modern people, and the wishful thinking of those biased towards rational thinking, the emotional system is more of
"the humane in the animal" than "the animal in man". It seems that it is more appropriate to call the human beings of our
time "Homo Emotionalis" than Homo Sapiens".
Even at birth, the function
of emotions differs entirely from that of the reflexes* - which are the basic (and nearly automatic) mode of operation in creatures which are "lower" on the evolutionary
scale (like insects etc.).
The reflex arc is activated
automatically whenever a specific stimulus is applied to the right receptor of a creature with enough intensity. In man, one
of the small number of reflexes active even in grownups is that which makes the eye blink when objects approach swiftly; another
is the one that causes the lower part of the leg to jump when the neurologist taps below the knee.
Even at the
very beginning of life, when the emotional processes are activated nearly automatically, they differ widely from the reflexes.
We can see, even at this early stage, that the relationship between stimuli and responses is not on a one to one basis. Even
at this early stage, it is not the case that a certain stimulus, and only it, causes a certain response. From the beginning,
a few stimuli can, together or each by itself, cause a certain individual response or a group of responses.
For instance, even when the
newborn baby is only a few hours old, different patterns of strong stimuli like loud noise, intense light or an unexpected
and swift change in the position of the body, cause a complex pattern of responses of the "classic" or innate fear. This pattern includes various components such as facial expression, typical voices, quickening of the pulse rate and increase
in blood pressure.
The biological basis of the emotions
At the beginning of life,
the human baby is equipped with a complex neurological system. This system receives input unceasingly through a wide spectrum
of sensorial receptors of diverse characteristics. For instance, receptors of light (mainly
the eyes), receptors of noise (mainly the ears), receptors
of heat and infrared radiation (the coarse ones are all over the body - the most delicate
ones are mainly in the forehead and around the eyes), receptors of taste, smell, pressure, movement and balance,
Various parts (or centers) of the brain (which is the center of the neurological
system) are simultaneously fed by this plethora of fresh input(5), and an even larger amount of "conserved" ones, stored
in the memory. The new and the old inputs are processed by various components of the brain in divergent ways in order to act
upon and/or to memorize them for later reference.
During the analyzing and the
recycling of the new and old input (stored results and references of previous processing
included), many processes occur in the brain. Small parts of those processes are sufficiently slow, long,
strong and important that they involve our awareness. The majority are too short, weak, or of a content or mode, that do not
access to the awareness at all, or perhaps do so but only in certain circumstances.
The initial steps of the processing
are mainly swift and inaccessible to the awareness. They mainly consist of (and result
in) perception, identification and subjective evaluating of each item and pattern. This initial step can decide
what will be the amount and the nature of the effect a specific item of input will have on the ongoing happening and on future
ones. This weighting is done in accordance with a subjective bias that can deviate widely from the objective one.
During initial processing
of the input (and more so during the recycling and deeper processing of conserved ones),
new organizations, conceptualizations, summations and decisions are achieved, at various levels of organization and functioning
of the brain.
Part of the processes occur
in steps that have a stable order. In some of them, the order of the steps is dependant on the result of the initial steps,
or the advance of the whole process. In most cases, various steps of the processing are taken parallel to each other. The
processes of these steps can (and usually do) interact with each other.
Frequently, they not only
interact among themselves but also with other processes that are ongoing in the brain and mind at the time. The most complicated
mode of processing in the brain, which is also the most typical, is called by the experts the "procession-in-parallel" mode.
The integrations done during
the input and the advanced steps of processing have a topographic (or geographic)
facet. Part of the steps or aspects of the processing can be related to large parts of or to almost the entire brain. Part
can be related to small or large neurological paths and areas. Specific parts of the processing can be located in small neurological
structures, in a small group of neurons or even in a particular neuron.
Process products that reach
awareness are usually the result of the simultaneous activity of many regions or nearly all of the brain. Only complicated
and ingenious tactics can succeed in the task of isolating stages, or in the effort to relate them to regions.
emotions (sometimes called moods, feelings, sensations, subjective experience, passions
and their like), that are the subjects of this book, are also processes of the brain. They too have specific
neuronal paths and organization centers for their main facets. They too involve fresh input and recycled ones (including previous processions of them) stored as memory traces, which they integrate at various
For instance, the processes
of the fear emotion can be engaged by inputs from receptors of the same sense located at different
part of the body - as in unexpected pain signals. Fear can be aroused by inputs of various senses like seeing danger or hearing a threat or feeling the loss of balance. It can
involve recycled input of previous processing about the measure in which a specific person or event is dangerous, as it caused
harm in the past.
It can also involve all these
in combination and higher level processes, like thinking and imagery. It is typically so in the evaluation of a specific situation
in the present or the future, that has no similar precedents - according to its components, circumstance and/or the probability
of its development and transformation.
The same principle, but with
more complex integrations, is expressed in movement. The regular daily walking in the house from one room to another - which
is relatively simple when the lights are on - is based on the input of the eyes, the ears, kinesthetic inputs of the muscles,
the sense of balance, memory of the environment and furniture arrangement, and knowledge of the neighbors' windows, our clothing,
our curtains and our sensitivity of being spied on.
Usually, this kind of movement
does not involve the emotional subsystem to any great degree. However, when the movement is part of a dance at a ball, with
a partner who is a stranger and whom we are courting - and the dance is not one we know too well - it will surely involve
the emotional subsystem to a great measure. A whole book will be needed to describe the relevant processing of the input done
by the brain* and the various subsystems involved.
Helping Kids Master Their Emotions
By Robin Schafer
Stress is a word all too familiar to children in schools these days. Every year, students are required to take standardized tests,
which takes so much preparation time, many parents are finding the need to enroll their children in extra tutorial programs
after school just to keep up in the classroom. Add that to massive amounts of homework combined with too many extracurricular
activities and kids are bound to feel the pressure.
This is leading to an increase
in problems with anxiety including attention deficit disorder. There's such a high rate of teen depression that there aren’t
enough psychologists to handle the caseloads. Meanwhile, teachers are finding students are much more fidgety and unable to
sit still in class. There isn’t enough exercise outside the classroom because there’s simply not enough time.
There are 5 techniques which help reduce anxiety, all of which I’ve seen work firsthand:
- MEDITATION: slowing down and finding calm and peace for moments at a time makes a big difference.
- DEEP BREATHING: even if it’s for a short, quick, deep breath, it relaxes the body and mind almost
- VISUALIZATION: this is more of a long-term stress reducer. Let’s say your son plays goalie in soccer. This is a tough position, which can create a lot of anxiety for
a kid because if a ball slips by, a child may put the entire outcome of the game on his shoulders.
But, taking about 5 minutes a day twice a day to just close his eyes and visualize himself doing
well could make all the difference. Over a period of time, not only may he actually do much better, but he’ll be much
less stressed about it when the other team scores.
- WRITING IN A JOURNAL: this helps because words on the page become a visual
reminder of progress.
- EXERCISE: this allows children to work out their stress and frustration physically.
In the past, people always put so much credence on academic intelligence, when in fact
it’s been proven time and again that emotional intelligence is truly the key to a happier and optimistic individual.
Learning how to handle stress and pressure thru positive outlets at an early age creates fewer problems in college and fewer
cases of teen depression.
With such a strong focus on academics, children are being tested more and at earlier ages.
Such an emphasis has been placed on these tests, in fact, that towns receive funding based on how well their schools perform.
If the schools don’t do well, it’s publicized, it hurts property values and fewer people will move there. This,
in turn, is creating even more pressure on our kids to perform.
As the mother of 3 children between the ages of 11
and 21, I’ve seen the stress firsthand and I know all about the pressures that come with adolescence. I wanted youngsters to have a place to turn, so
my husband, Randy and I launched a web-based subscription program that teaches children between the ages of 8-13 strategies
for coping with that stress while gaining self-confidence.
Masterful Kids is a secure, members-only website that helps youngsters understand, communicate
and control their emotions with the help of their peers and parents, in a positive manner.
Through the site, children are offered programs based on the following:
- Achieving goals
- Being Grateful
- Being Healthy thru Exercise
- Being Happy
- Being Positive
- Feeling Special
- Handling Difficult People
- Learning from Mistakes
- Stress Management Techniques
- Understanding Feelings
The programs contain 5
sub-sections including an introduction, video, daily journal, kids, opinion page, parents’ forum, bibliography section
and a blog. Each culminates with a monthly conclusion where kids can reflect upon their progress.
High Calorie Emotions
Weight Loss and body Image
Permanent Weight loss isn't about Diet. There are many products and services promising fantastic results. Some
are good, most are average, usually they cost more than they're worth and some are outright dangerous. Losing weight is a
simple matter of either decreasing calorie intake or increasing energy output. Most people combine both to achieve fast results.
Most people have tried this method often enough to know that it works and I've found that most
dieters know more about food than anyone. My main aim is to attack the many causes of weight gain and focus more on the creation
of new habits to bring about permanent weight loss maintenance.
There's no such thing
as a fattening food.
No one food is either fattening or slimming. It’s this
simple: Food contains calories and calories are units of energy. There are no fat calories or thin calories, 2000 cake calories
are exactly the same as 2000 celery calories.
Calories are burned by the body to produce energy. Just being alive
burns calories. However, the more active the body the bigger the burn. If you burn the same amount of calories as you eat
then your weight will remain the same.
If you eat 3000 calories and burn 2000 then 1000 are stored (as fat).
Overweight people don't necessarily eat a huge amount of food or a huge amount of “bad food”,
they simply consume more calories than they need. The unused calories are then stored in the body as fat.
If you put too few calories in, the body will take the stored calories (fat) and use that for energy, thereby,
creating weight loss.
One point I do wish to make about food is this: Vitamins,
Minerals, Protein, Carbohydrate, Fat, etc. are vital to maintaining health. Foods heal, build and repair. Foods balance your
metabolism and produce energy and well being. You'll not get fat from eating cakes and drinking soda however, if you're putting
in calories that have little or no nutritional content, you'll become tired, depressed, unmotivated and ultimately very sick.
Your weight can be about many things or a combination of many things. Overeating may be part of
the problem but what's the cause of overeating? Your reasons may be unique, but many of the common causes are:
Many issues are related
to body image, self-esteem and even sexual issues.
Body image often relates to many
weight issues. You may, on a very logical level, desire a thinner body. However, sub consciously you may associate being normal
or comfortable with the shape of your mother, siblings, or friends. If you're a wife or mother yourself, you may subconsciously
feel that your body image, as a wife and mother, conflicts with the body image of a single and available woman. Sometimes
becoming a wife and mother creates conflict with being sexually attractive to other men.
people feel safer or stronger by being bigger and may panic or feel insecure when they've lost weight.
Being overweight can often be used to repress sexuality. Teenage girls often find sexual advances intimidating
and sub-consciously put on weight as a barrier, which continues throughout life.
eating is usually about punishment. This is very common in high achievers. (Anorexics and Bulimics are often in this category
as well.) Bingeing is about trying to get it perfect and then destroying all effort if there's a slight slip up
Binge eating is also very common with Pre menstrual -syndrome. PMS can cause women to be emotionally
fragile, their thinking can be fuzzy, their body can retain fluid, which means their body feels fatter or bloated, there's
discomfort in the stomach area and sugar cravings are common. If you're serious about long-term weight maintenance, you must
be prepared for this. You must plan alternative actions like being kind to yourself and being more flexible, self loving and
forgiving. Keep a calendar and be prepared before you hit crisis point.
people find they that have an emotional attachment to food. If you were rewarded with sweets for good behavior or sent to
your room without dinner for bad behavior, you may very well be treating food as a reward or a punishment. Your eating habits
may have become confused with approval or disapproval. If your family were poor you may acquaint food with being prosperous
For most people the stomach area is the emotional centre of the body. Stress, worry and unhappiness
will create tightness here; often overeating is an automatic response to releasing this tension. Interestingly, some people
find that under stress or in a state of unhappiness, they actually can’t eat at all. Usually overweight people, use
food to release and stretch the area, this is particularly obvious in a binge eating session. Food can nurture and food can
provide comfort. By detached observation you learn a lot about yourself and your food habits. Watch yourself without judgment
for a few weeks and you’ll be amazed at how often you're feeding your emotions.
Eating well means providing your body with the highest nutritional values. If your nutritional
needs aren't met, you'll quickly become tired, unhappy and unwell. The right foods help to rebuild and repair your body, increase
energy, improve immune function, detoxify, build muscle and eliminate waste products. Most importantly the food you eat can
influence how you feel. How you feel influences your behavior. Within just a week or two you may be happier, more energized, more motivated and slimmer. From this point the food thing becomes easier and easier.
Eat smaller & more often.
Large meals zap your energy. Too much food, particularly high animal fat or too many protein combinations will almost put
you to sleep. Remember that being tired physically or mentally will be the biggest enemy to your success.
Pre Menstrual Tension. Ah! That time of month.
PMT can create the monster. Some women go thru hell
at this time of month. You must tune in to your body & get to know the signs. A few women have little discomfort for a
day or 2 before a period but for many women PMT can bring about a week or even 2 weeks of emotional chaos.
Fluid retention (bloating)
is very common & extremely frustrating to a diet. This is the time when you feel fat, your thinking is fuzzy, your emotionally
touchy, little annoyances become major frustrations, you face breaks out, your hair is lifeless & your craving sugar,
bread & salt. Headaches & stomach pain is common, Muscles feel achy, feet swell & you feel Tense & stressed
Use this time to do something special or simply pull back & only do the absolute necessities. Pamper your self
a little (or a lot) If you break the diet be kind gentle & forgiving.
retention isn't caused by drinking too much fluid. Fluid can fluctuate due to hormone levels, too much salt or too little
exercise. Often the body retains fluid in people who habitually don’t drink enough. People often mistake dehydration
for hunger, water helps digestion & elimination. Dehydration can cause headaches, fatigue & constipation. It’s
also great for your skin.
Many people use food as a stress
buster. If stress is left unchecked it will build & accumulate. Quite often we don't even realize we're stressed until
it's too late. It’s very difficult to reduce stress when we're stressed. Deep slow breathing must be incorporated into
your weight loss plan. By deep breathing thru out the day you'll be able to diffuse stress & prevent the build up.
Keeping up your oxygen levels further helps by improving digestion & releasing toxins. When
you're stressed your metabolism is impeded, your muscles tighten & you become exhausted.
will keep your energy levels up & Improves your sense of well-being. You may already have a habit of stretching your stomach
muscles by eating, why not replace this habit with stretching & releasing the stomach muscles with calorie fee air?
A habit is a behavior that's repeated to such a degree that the sub conscious mind computes
the entirety of the information & creates an automatic behaviour. Eating habits are usually formed in childhood &
will require conscious awareness, alternative reactions & repetition of new behaviours. Ultimately you'll bring your new
eating habits into an automatic behavior.
The goal is to get to a point where you
don't think about food at all. Food can pick you up when you're feeling tired or out of sorts, Food can calm you down when
stressed or anxious, Food can replace boredom or loneliness. Food is used as a celebration, a reward, a comfort & an expression
of friendship. Food can be an expression of love & friendship. Food can also be a punishment.
Don’t eat your anger. Consider this. Every pound of body fat could well be the weight &shape of last years disappointments!
is the easiest & most effective way to bring about permanent change. It's an excellent technique for exploring the sub
conscious mind; It’s deeply relaxing as well as energizing. Most importantly it can greatly lock in new habits in the
fastest easiest way possible.
Your body is the most valuable asset
you have. It's smarter than any computer, there's no scientist, doctor or chemist able to heal, repair or protect you like
your own body can, it's your home & your vehicle. There's no person & no thing in this entire universe that will serve
or protect you like your own body. Your freedom, happiness, pleasure, vitality & health are all gifts to you from your
The most amazing thing to realize is that most people disrespect & sometimes
even hate their bodies. Many people poison their own bodies; certainly in our culture we have somehow taken on big fat lies
about our bodies. Stop for a moment right now & consider your attitude to your body. Is there a sense of shame? When you
think or speak about your body is there respect & admiration or self-loathing criticism or indifference?
If you apply truth & logic you can only know that your body is the most fascinating intelligent
valuable possession you have.
How much body disrespect has your weight created? Think
about the unloving thoughts & feelings you've directed at your body. Weight is simply too much body fat kept in storage,
its no big deal. Have you ever really stopped to consider the millions of wonderful processes within your body or do you simply
focus on fat & divorce your body from yourself.
In summary I'd like to simplify
the most important aspects of permanent weight loss maintenance.
1. Make your
decisions based on your own truth.
2. Choose food
based on high nutritional content.
3. Breathe deeply
4. Practise creative
or minimize fear stress & worry
6. Replace eating
with the pursuit of other pleasures.
7. Observe your
emotional responses & habits.
Excerpt from www.reinventingmyself.com by Sonya Green
"I had to become aware that there were such things as emotions that lived in my body
and then I had to start learning how to recognize and sort them out. I had to become aware of all the ways that I was
trained to distance myself from my feelings."
J. Benor, MD, The Official Guide to Pain Management
Unspoken words are rarely
silent in their effects. They may influence us quite powerfully in many ways.
emotions that fester
We may hesitate to say something
that could lead to hurt or anger, often when we are experiencing these same feelings ourselves. If my boss is asking me to
stay late when I have family obligations, my emphatic response of outrage might be better off toned down, lest I lose my job.
If I am feeling such emotions, it is likely that others I
interact with are too. When words go unspoken and underlying negative emotions simmer, they often leave residues of unresolved
feelings on both sides of the communications. Unexpressed feelings tend to fester, generating defensive, irritable, and angry
When frustration and anger is stirred and not resolved between caregivers
on a therapeutic team, treatment also suffers. At the physical level, adrenaline levels rise when we are upset. While this
is helpful if a tiger is attacking, it has negative consequences in a therapeutic setting. Adrenaline makes us more alert
to deal with attack, but at the same time makes us more distractible, so that we can focus on any shift in the attack. In
an office, anger can lead to unhelpful distractibility. Where emotions are unexpressed, staff get distracted more easily.
This is when phone messages and medical records go astray. Psychological mischief may also intrude, with unexpressed feelings
leading to unconscious or conscious manifestations of anger that are expressed through irritating behaviors, ranging from
brusque or negative verbal and non-verbal interactions between staff, through passive-aggressive behaviors that release angers
indirectly, and displacement of anger towards other staff and respants.
In The Inspector General, a film featuring
Danny Kaye, there is a classic portrayal of such interactions. In the first scene of the sequence, the wife of the police
chief berates and belittles him and stalks angrily out of his office. He chews out the first sergeant, who reams out the corporal
on duty, who shouts at the patrolman who is leaving his office. This unfortunate officer, having no one lower on the totem
pole to vent his angers on, storms down the stairs of the police station. Danny Kaye, an innocent bypasser, happens to be
walking in front of the station at just that moment. The patrolman bumps into him and angrily shoves him into the gutter.
Kaye, angered at his mistreatment, kicks at a passing dog.
Unexpressed feelings may produce physical tensions that
cause or contribute to headaches, backaches, migraines, irritable bowel syndromes, chronic fatigue syndrome, allergic diseases,
Unheard or unacknowledged words
Respants (responsible participants
- alt. for patients per Bernie Siegel) often complain that doctors take too little time to listen to respants� explanations
of their problems, don’t actually listen to hear what might lie behind the problems, and prescribe treatments without
adequate explanations. This is often experienced as an expression of uncaring on the part of the doctor. Respants may reject
medical advice and ignore recommendations for treatment. It is estimated that half of medical prescription written go unfilled
- a reflection of these sorts of problems.
Many people who come to doctors are not looking for treatment. They want
to share their anxieties and learn whether a pain or other symptom is serious. As often as not, if they are simply asked,
"What is your body saying with these symptoms?" they will be able to identify the underlying stresses that are contributing
to or actually producing physical symptoms. Joe, who had severe migraines, responded, "My headaches come on towards the end
of the weekend, as I start to think of going to work on Monday." Frieda, who had been suffering excruciating stomach aches
for years, with occasional bloody stools, was scheduled for surgery to remove part of her bowel.
She was startled to be questioned about why her guts were
in such an uproar. No one had ever asked her to consider the stressors in her life and how she was swallowing down her feelings.
Psychotherapy, relaxation and imagery exercises, and careful attention to her diet relieved her pains and made surgery unnecessary.
Euphemisms for denial of death
In Western society, including those within the medical community,
we tippy-toe around mention of death. To avoid mentioning death, we may say that a person passed on; breathed her last breath;
shuffled off; answered the last call; was beamed up (Star Trek reference); bit the dust; bought the farm (euphemism for grave);
bought his box; cashed in his chips; checked out; coiled up his ropes; croaked; crossed the river; it�s curtains time;
that dreamless sleep (Byron); reached the end of the line; fed the fishes; flatlined; went home feet first; went home in a
box; went to a dance party with God; went into the fertilizer business; went the way of all earth/flesh; went to his last
rest/ roundup; Hamlet�s sleep; her number was up; it's Taps; kicked the bucket/ oxygen habit; got knocked off; has
gone for a long slumber; took the last count; turned his toes up; he is visiting Davy Jones' locker; is living-challenged/
living-impaired; lost in translation; mailed in her warranty card; was collected by the grim reaper; moved into upper management;
suffered a negative patient care outcome; departed on the never-ending trip; she�s off the record now; struck out by
the Big Blue Pencil; permanently out of print; remaindered; taken out of production; sent to the dirt archives; reformatted
by God; on the road to nowhere; passed on; paid the piper; paid her debt to nature; put on immortality; shed the mortal coil;
shuffled off this mortal coil; is six feet under; sleeping with the fishes; slowly cooling to room temperature; snuffed it;
steped onto her last bus; took a dirt nap/ earth bath; pushing up daisies/ parsley; he is now worm food.
communities and those with personal spiritual awareness (Benor 2006) may have another spectrum of expressions. In some cases,
these too may be euphemisms to avoid facing fears of the end of physical existence. In other instances, these may express
direct awarenesses of the continuity of conscious awareness on other planes, after the spirit departs from the physical body.
In these communities, what may appear to be a euphemism may be an acknowledgment that death is not the end of life. Such expressions
may reflect communications with surviving spirits (two out of three people who have lost someone close to them will report
seeing, hearing them, or sensing their presence); having channeled/ mediumistic communications with spirits; intuitive inner
guidance; angelic encounters; recalling past lives; having near-death or other spiritual/ mystical experiences. These alternate
designations for death may include: being gathered to one's fathers; got her halo; gave up the ghost; went to meet her maker;
went to his just reward/ happy hunting ground/ last reward/ the sweet hereafter; joined the angels/ her ancestors; is kneeling
at the big gates; launched into eternity; passed on; crossed over; is picking up her harp; rung down the curtain and joined
the Choir Invisible; singing with the angels.
Avoiding naming what every person is
going to face denies respants the opportunity to deal with their anxieties and fears. Most doctors are not trained to deal
with end of life issues, and therefore avoid them. This is worsened by Western society�s general tendency to deny and
avoid dealing with death, doing everything possible to prolong life at all costs.
wisely used, are gateways and avenues to healing.
My bio summarizes my ongoing search for ever more ways to peel the onion
of life's resistances, to reach the knowing (with the inner knowing of truth which has the feel of rightness) that we are
all cells in the body of the Infinite Source.
While my unique area of expertise is spiritual awareness and healing,
my principal work is through wholistic healing – addressing spirit, relationships (with other people and the environment),
mind, emotions and body. I am using WHEE, a potent self-healing method, with children and adults who are dealing with PTSD
and other forms of stress, psychological and physical pain, low self-esteem, cravings and other issues.
Benor, MD, ABIHM, is a wholistic psychiatric psychotherapist who blends in his therapy elements from intuitive and spiritual
awareness, spiritual healing (as in Reiki and Therapeutic Touch), WHEE - Wholistic Hybrid derived from Eye Movement Desensitization
and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), transactional analysis, gestalt therapy, hypnotherapy, meditation,
imagery and relaxation (psychoneuroimmunology), dream analysis, and other approaches. Dr. Benor has taught this spectrum of
methods internationally for 35 years to people involved in wholistic, intuitive, and spiritual approaches to caring, health
and personal development.
Dr. Benor founded The Doctor-Healer Network in England and North America. He is the author
of Healing Research, Volumes I-III and many articles on wholistic, spiritual healing. He is the editor and publisher of the
peer-reviewed International Journal of Healing and Caring - Online and moderator of WholisticHealingResearch.com, a major informational website on spiritual awareness, healing and CAM research.
internationally on radio and TV. He is a Founding Diplomate of the American Board of Holistic Medicine, Founder and Immediate
Past Coordinator for the Council for Healing, a non-profit organization that promotes awareness of spiritual healing, and
for many years on the advisory boards of the journals, Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine, Subtle Energies (ISSSEEM),
Frontier Sciences, the Advisory Council of the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychotherapy (ACEP), Emotional Freedom
Techniques (EFT) and the Advisory Board of the Research Council for Complementary Medicine (UK), Core reviewer for BioMed
Central, Complementary and Alternative Medicine Online.